GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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