I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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