I'm really into asian looking animals
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
where does the pee come out of this thing
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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