Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
