There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
