what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
