I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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