this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
