what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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