the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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