Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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