no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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