I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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