turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
