when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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