# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
