We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
