so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
