You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
