So drunk its hurt
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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