I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
