If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
