But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i will never coherently bang her
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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