he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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