Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
