i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
