i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm just crazy horny about you
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
