Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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