Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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