Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
