Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Fuck appropriateness.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
