Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
