I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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