I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
