you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
