I don't remember. Are we still dating?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
