You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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