We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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