shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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