i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
