Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
