I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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