Welp...herpes.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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