My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i barfeds in our rink
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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