We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
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I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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