WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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