Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
