u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
