do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
