Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize