PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
