I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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