After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Still dying that you shit outside
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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