Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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