Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
