were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
