If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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