oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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