She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can vaginas get frostbite?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
