I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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