Dual....:-)
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
