I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Alive.
So much puke
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize