A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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