everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
