if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
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My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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